Personally, as a male rancor from the Star Wars universe who got 113 seconds of airtime (, infamy) and died by the crushing of a giant metal gate, I seek those who would destroy me so that I can rebuild me better. I am a student of life and if you've broken me, I will rebuild and I won't forget (Luke Skywalker, you mothe...)
I was en route to a tutoring assignment, 35 minutes into my 45 minute trip, when my client unceremoniously canceled. I was rightfully displeased. I was over-the-top pissed. I've learned to mask that indignation, if not get rid of it, altogether. Anyway, I hopped off the bus and found myself at one of those spots you always see and want to check out but might never find an occasion to actually visit. With the afternoon in front of me, I had that time. This was a center were Go is played: A non-profit facility maintained for the sole purpose of playing a certain board game. I was greeted at the front desk and led to a seat - I was the first one to arrive for the weekly evening of free lessons and the teacher would be with me shortly. In 15 minutes, Chris, a man with three fingers on his right hand as well as Jinlee, a recent chinese immigrant and my competition for the evening, had arrived. Chris watched us play; or, make errors and repose with blunders. I became flustered. I lost the first game to a little Chinese girl (and I consider myself an intellect) and was losing again. He stopped my hand, looked at me and asked about my fixation on protecting a one place on the board. I said it was a part of my strategy and that I was now losing that hold. Cut your losses and move on the the battles you may win on other fronts. Go is a game filled with lessons on life. This is what he told me.
Today, I attended a lecture with 200 attendees given by a 30 year old. Why the fuck would 200 people spend their morning with a 30 year old. Before the meeting, I decided I wouldn't speak to anyone because they were yuppies and I buried myself in a notebook. My first personal note:
"If I'm not the youngest in the room, I'm probably not hearing anything worth learning"
The topic of the day was 'Humility.'
For me, humility means admission when a teacher tweases out your error and holds the wriggling SOB up in front of your eyes and asks "is this a part of you?"
Throughout the lecture, audience members were invited up to the front to share stories. When I finally found the balls to raise my hand, God sounded a horn of triumph somewhere and a 16 year old girl got up and shared her story which was better than mine probably would have been (though I was a lot more nervous about my story than I was hers.) I don't know what she said but she was important for me - the rancor.
My greatest trait is the desire to search without a direct purpose. I learn all types of things and find answers to questions I didn't know I had and you don't know you have.
You see a rancor - but he is a student of life. A homeless man is a teacher. Your self needs an update.
