St. Jean Pied de Port
Roncesvalles
Pamplona
Puente de la Reyna
Estella
Torre de Rio
These are the places I’ve stayed. Five full days of walking. I passed a sign denoting 100 kilometers walked today.
I’d like to start with this. I am a very high strung person. Much of advice RE life advises you to dance. I not only face the teeth pulling choice to dance, but then also feel great nerves as I dance, which sometimes never subside. I know the feeling and I know it well and I feel it now. I met a man, Manuel, who pressed my buttons expertly. He had completed the journey before and I hardly understood his quickdraw Spanish drawl. I understood enough to know he was pushing me mentally to a conclusion. This is really a spiritual journey like passing a kidney stone. Ive completed spiritual journeys before, but this one seems to grow to fit the space its given. Ive walked 100KM in 4 days — something 99% of folks will never do — and I feel Ive only scratched the surface. Oddly, this is normal. I see it in the other first-timers and Ive read it in accounts. I haven’t discarded my business attachments yet, but apparently I will. I admit they feel very distant and my last work assignment I choked up, half-dead on arrival. I don’t really care, like a college kid on vacation — but I’m not a college kid anymore. Papers aren’t like a company. A company is real life.
Ive sat down and mapped out my day’s journeys. Ive visited 20+ Pueblo’s, and had experiences in each of them. I walked with an old man who talked a lot about death and politics in Spanish I could hardly follow. I bought a pomegranate. I took a picture of some children piling onto a go-kart, gave a thumbs up, and promptly fell on my face. It’s been a journey. Ive been through sleepy villages, retreats for the rich, ruins of the romans, religious citadels, former religious citadels, churches of legend... I’ve seen so much. I couldn’t write it all in one post. I just don’t have the time. I’ll summarize it all and then start with what I did today, day Six.
I’ve walked through a great variety of typographies. The Pyrenees mountains, rolling hills of southern France, burning planes of northern France, Wine fields, old fortified cities, and endless expanses. The last on that list really sucks and I hear I have a string of days upcoming. I feel twice, on day one and day two. I doubted myself twice, on day one and day six (today). Ive gone from recklessly positive to leaning into my situation.
I’m listening to audiobooks. I listen to 2666 by Roberto Bolaño, The Pilgrimage by Paul Coelho, and The Bhagavad Gita. I also have Lil B’s Options Mixtape saved on my phone. I listen to it each morning all the way through and it inspires my mind and my thoughts. I re-listen to a few favorite songs throughout the day. Ive engaged deeply with each book, especially Coehlo’s. I have taken up his exercises, which have been hard for me. If you’ve read the book, you know what I mean.
Today, I hit the road like a madman. So did everyone in my cohort. It’s amazing how they keep up. I suffer greatly. Ive always known others to have less of an appetite for suffering than me — always, in fact. Here, though, these people seem to be on the same page with me. It’s totally unbelievable. I love the people I am traveling with, Eniku, Christoph, and Silvia. I am developing a affinity for other pilgrims too. We share this sometimes beautiful sometimes arduous trial each day and celebrate each night.
Today I learned something that seems at the same time crazy and totally logical. I’m trying to focus on how my mind words and control and re-wire my reactions. For example, when I see something in my path, I will step on it. I can usually quickly identify the item and draw a conclusion as to how appropriate it is. I’m trying to rewire my brain. Not just in this but RE matters that make me uncomfortable or irritated or hurt. I’m trying to heal irrational fears and hurt that I feel by using the meditative technique of considering and letting go and the psychology technique of positive association.
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